A blog by Ross of Penge (formerly of Balham)

I blogged pretty extensively during 2014 and early 2015, but got out of the habit. In the time since there has been a huge amount I've sort of wanted to write about (politics, terror etc) but I haven't. I tried several times, but anger and frustration about what was happening prevented me from getting things down in a coherent form. Given I couldn't express what I felt, and it didn't seem like it would make a difference anyway, I let it lie fallow.

It's now early 2017, and I'm back, blogging about my attempt to do the first month of the year without social media. After that, who knows?

And why gateway2thesouth? Named after a famous sketch popularised by Peter Sellers:

"Broad-bosomed, bold, becalmed, benign,
Lies Balham, four-square on the Northern Line."

I lived in Balham for 23 years - longer than I have been anywhere else, and it still feels like one of the places in the world I most belong.

Monday, 5 January 2015

2014 and all that

On December 31st 2013, I decided to try and blog my way through the coming year. Well, it sort of happened. In total 96 blog posts were achieved. There were a couple of month-long gaps in there when life got in the way but I'm actually quite proud that I managed quite as much as I did.

And I've decided to continue with the blog for the time-being anyway. Not least because on four months there will be a general election to get annoyed about. But I find it quite enjoyable to put finger to keyboard. A question I get asked quite often is ‘why?’. Why put stuff out there and let the world see it all? Why bother with things like Twitter? I'm not sure I have a great answer really. I enjoy it. I self-censor enough to ensure that I won’t share things that affect other people and which they might not want to be shared, and to ensure I don’t put anything out there that could be career-limiting. But other than that, this is no different to keeping a diary – just one that I let anybody read. I think that the knowledge that I am writing for an audience does prevent there being too much introspection, but it still has that cathartic effect.

So how has the year gone? Well – I've pulled up one of the early posts from 2014 and taken some of the headings from that – seems as good an idea as anything else.

Music - performance

Voxcetera continued to be a great source of pride for me – performing as I did at St Sepulchre in March, and then on tour in Edinburgh, before a ’home’ fixture in October and then a wonderful Christmas concert. This year promises a concert at St Martin’s in the Fields, and then Dublin.

But I also managed to sing in a Prom for the first time – with the Rachmaninov Choral Symphony (Crouch End Festival Chorus) being one of the most demanding pieces of music I have ever encountered. The sense of achievement was overwhelming.

Adding to that a Verdi Requiem, a (second) Mozart one, and six Albert Hall Christmas gigs (plus one at Birmingham Symphony Hall) made for a full year. And that is without adding in my involvement with Balham Ukulele Society – something I did not see in the tea leaves when looking ahead.

All the musical things I do have in common the opportunity to spend time with groups of people, from all walks of life, who are friendly, and who make my life a better place. I am grateful for all of them.

Music - In the audience

Two main words. Kate Bush. A dream fulfilled. But also Folk by the Oak – Richard Thompson, Seth Lakeman, and Keston Cobblers Club among others. James Taylor at the Albert Hall, Difford and Tilbrook at the Union Chapel and Chas’n’ Dave.

Add that to a range of smaller gigs, from solo guitarists to chamber and full choirs, and big bands, and it has been a busy year. I’d lost the habit of going to gigs and have gradually built it back up again. I am sure there will be more in 2015.

Holidays

Life got in the way a bit. The need to practice for a prom, and move house, mean that I didn't clock up the Air Miles this year. Mixed feelings about this. I don’t feel that I wasted my holiday entitlement, in that I look back and can see that I did plenty. But it would be nice to get away a little bit more in 2015. Pretty sure that the kids won’t want to come, so I can look to some more grown-up destinations.

Books

I've kept this one going – with a lot of Kindle stuff. Quite a bit of it has been fairly old and cheap sci-fi, but I've also read a bit of travel and some proper fiction. And I've read quite a lot of economics and social science-y stuff. But Thomas Piketty – just not had the drive to read him yet.

Media do overlap of course – I continue to be a great consumer of podcasts (one of the benefits of being a regular user of public transport). And I would heartily recommend Freakonomics, Planet Money, This American Life, No Such Thing as a Fish (the QI podcast) and Reply All. I greatly enjoyed ‘Serial’ too. Yes it is voyeuristic, and at times uncomfortable, but did have me on the edge of my seat – and we are all allowed one or two guilty pleasures, aren't we?

Work

I look back and (quoting directly from last year’s blog) ‘I do find myself thinking – worrying really, that I'm not sure I can, or want to, go at this pace for too much longer’. Wow. I think the pace has increased considerably. I have coped. In fact better than that, I feel more positive about my ability to do the job than I did then. I think that last year’s anxieties were a part of some more general malaise going on in my life, and that by correcting things elsewhere I had more reserves to devote to work. Of course, now that I look back I wonder whether I am pushing things too hard – just because I don’t see a problem at the moment doesn't mean I am not storing up issues. I'm currently very happy with what I do, but I suspect I should at least start to think about longer-term future options and prospects during the next year.

Health

THE major success story of 2014 for me. I managed to lose 30 pounds in the period from May/June to September. I have managed to put about 5 of them back on over Christmas, but am disgusted enough with myself over that to ensure they will not be sticking around. I found a level of will power I really didn't think I had, and (no surprise) that all you need to do is eat in a controlled way and do lots of exercise and it all comes good. Which makes me feel all the more stupid about the decade-long search for miracle ways of achieving it.

While dieting, I went almost entirely veggie for a couple of months. I've not stuck to that since I hit my target weight, but am eating much less meat that I have ever done – and I feel a lot better for it. At home, I could definitely do the veggie thing 100% of the time – it’s going out that kills it. Particularly it was three days away with work and the third consecutive mushroom risotto as the only choice on the menu that made me yearn for flesh. Does this go down as a fail? No. Because over all I am much much healthier. I have achieved something I knew I need and wanted to, but I think never really thought I would get to with weight etc. It would be better for me and the planet if I ate no meat, but eating it on a less frequent basis isn't a disaster for either.

Life

Big, big changes. Causing a lot of stress to me and to those around me (thank you to all those who gave me such support during what could have been a much trickier period without you). But I finally moved away from a situation that wasn't making me happy (and wasn't making anyone else happy either). With some time now elapsed between then and now, I know that I feel much better (and worry a little about where I would have been heading if I hadn't made the move – I think it would have been a pretty dark place). I've managed to keep what I valued most - my kids and the relationship I continue to have with them – whilst becoming (I hope) a much more balanced and centred individual.

So, there we go. Overall score? A few misses, a few definite hits, quite a few unexpected and unforeseen. A year of major change, and I feel very positive about it and about the future. So I have to put it down as a pretty good year. Of course, I now need to think about what challenges 2015 holds, and what I want to change or continue. More on that in future posts.

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