Be bloody, bold and resolute...

There seems to be a convention around New Year’s resolutions – that we all make them and then they have gone out of the window by about the 6^th of January. (I am writing this on January 6^th.)

I've tended to do slightly better than this when I look back over the last few years. Largely I think because my resolutions have been practical and easy to break into manageable chunks. Too long in business I guess, with people droning on about SMART* objectives. But it is true that objectives like “be happier” or “make the world a better place” are very hard to judge in a meaningful manner.

This doesn't mean that objectives have to be trivial by any means, it just means that rather than “exercise more” you resolve to “walk for an hour at least twice a week and go to the gym for 40 minutes three times a week”. Then you can plan these in rather than being lost in the overall task. I also believe that positive resolutions are better than negative ones. With a negative (“I will not drink on week nights” being a common one) you lapse once, and then think “Fuck it”**. With a positive it feels easier to me to get back on the horse if a week goes by and you've missed your target.

I have been thinking about resolutions for 2015, and I have been struggling. Yes people, my life is, in the words of the sage of modern times James Blunt, ‘brilliant’ and I have nothing to change. That was ironic, by the way.

It’s more that I have had a few years where it’s been easy to say “I really need to do that”, or “I want to do that” and they are quite big things. But this year there isn't a big thing that is readily apparent to me. I'm at least broadly happy (and in most cases very happy) with life, lifestyle, exercise, hobbies, job etc. Yes, I could for example be a bit more productive at times in the office, but that feels like a nebulous thing to try and tweak. But I don’t feel I want to take on a new musical challenge this year, nor do I want to change job, flat etc.

So should I just skip the resolutions thing completely? That feels wrong – I think it is good to have goals/areas to improve. I guess that’s the heart of the issue – my mind sees the black and white definition that you are either ‘improving’ or you are ‘drifting’, and I don’t really want to feel I am drifting *Insert cliche here about shark swimming forward or drowning etc.*

So what I have decided is that 2015 will be a year where I am going to investigate and try some new things. I am going to aim to try six new activities (new being something that has formed no measurable part of my daily life in the last twenty years) over the year. I am going to give each one of them a decent go. And if I then decide that they have added nothing to my life, or are merely using up time, I will let them go and move on. If they become part of the day-to-day then that is because they have shown themselves as having value.

I don’t have the full list yet; this will build over the year but I will start keeping a mental list of possibles. But I have the first two:

1. I listen to a few podcasts which interview successful people in their fields – they try to get to what is common amongst them – looking for a recipe I suppose***. It has struck me that a very large proportion of these interviewees spend a small part of each day doing what I really don’t want to call mediation, but for want of a better word am going to call meditation. Sometimes this is the full Buddhist version. More often it is putting some time aside on a regular basis to think about what you are going to do, and how you are going to achieve it. So I am going to spend the rest of January and February trying to build this into my schedule.
2. I am going to dip a toe into the world of MOOCs. Massive Open Online Courses that is. Not MOOGs, which are either cool synthesisers, or one of these:

(those of you not around in the early 80’s should just gloss over that – you don’t need to know).

I am going to find something that looks interesting, or possibly even useful, and sign up for it and do it.

Both these two are things that I need to find out more about. And I imagine I will have a few dead-ends or false starts on the way. But that’s part of the fun. I will report back.

*Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-specific, in case you a) didn’t know, and b) care.

** OK, you may not think this, but I probably would.

*** If you want lots of these in one place – try the Tim Ferriss Show – on iTunes. He’s sometimes a little smug and self-important for English tastes (in other words he's American), but does talk to a huge range of people who are successful, rather than celebrities, and who are generally interesting.

2014 and all that

On December 31^st 2013, I decided to try and blog my way through the coming year. Well, it sort of happened. In total 96 blog posts were achieved. There were a couple of month-long gaps in there when life got in the way but I'm actually quite proud that I managed quite as much as I did.

And I've decided to continue with the blog for the time-being anyway. Not least because on four months there will be a general election to get annoyed about. But I find it quite enjoyable to put finger to keyboard. A question I get asked quite often is ‘why?’. Why put stuff out there and let the world see it all? Why bother with things like Twitter? I'm not sure I have a great answer really. I enjoy it. I self-censor enough to ensure that I won’t share things that affect other people and which they might not want to be shared, and to ensure I don’t put anything out there that could be career-limiting. But other than that, this is no different to keeping a diary – just one that I let anybody read. I think that the knowledge that I am writing for an audience does prevent there being too much introspection, but it still has that cathartic effect.

So how has the year gone? Well – I've pulled up one of the early posts from 2014 and taken some of the headings from that – seems as good an idea as anything else.

Music - performance

Voxcetera continued to be a great source of pride for me – performing as I did at St Sepulchre in March, and then on tour in Edinburgh, before a ’home’ fixture in October and then a wonderful Christmas concert. This year promises a concert at St Martin’s in the Fields, and then Dublin.

But I also managed to sing in a Prom for the first time – with the Rachmaninov Choral Symphony (Crouch End Festival Chorus) being one of the most demanding pieces of music I have ever encountered. The sense of achievement was overwhelming.

Adding to that a Verdi Requiem, a (second) Mozart one, and six Albert Hall Christmas gigs (plus one at Birmingham Symphony Hall) made for a full year. And that is without adding in my involvement with Balham Ukulele Society – something I did not see in the tea leaves when looking ahead.

All the musical things I do have in common the opportunity to spend time with groups of people, from all walks of life, who are friendly, and who make my life a better place. I am grateful for all of them.

Music - In the audience

Two main words. Kate Bush. A dream fulfilled. But also Folk by the Oak – Richard Thompson, Seth Lakeman, and Keston Cobblers Club among others. James Taylor at the Albert Hall, Difford and Tilbrook at the Union Chapel and Chas’n’ Dave.

Add that to a range of smaller gigs, from solo guitarists to chamber and full choirs, and big bands, and it has been a busy year. I’d lost the habit of going to gigs and have gradually built it back up again. I am sure there will be more in 2015.

Holidays

Life got in the way a bit. The need to practice for a prom, and move house, mean that I didn't clock up the Air Miles this year. Mixed feelings about this. I don’t feel that I wasted my holiday entitlement, in that I look back and can see that I did plenty. But it would be nice to get away a little bit more in 2015. Pretty sure that the kids won’t want to come, so I can look to some more grown-up destinations.

Books

I've kept this one going – with a lot of Kindle stuff. Quite a bit of it has been fairly old and cheap sci-fi, but I've also read a bit of travel and some proper fiction. And I've read quite a lot of economics and social science-y stuff. But Thomas Piketty – just not had the drive to read him yet.

Media do overlap of course – I continue to be a great consumer of podcasts (one of the benefits of being a regular user of public transport). And I would heartily recommend Freakonomics, Planet Money, This American Life, No Such Thing as a Fish (the QI podcast) and Reply All. I greatly enjoyed ‘Serial’ too. Yes it is voyeuristic, and at times uncomfortable, but did have me on the edge of my seat – and we are all allowed one or two guilty pleasures, aren't we?

Work

I look back and (quoting directly from last year’s blog) ‘I do find myself thinking – worrying really, that I'm not sure I can, or want to, go at this pace for too much longer’. Wow. I think the pace has increased considerably. I have coped. In fact better than that, I feel more positive about my ability to do the job than I did then. I think that last year’s anxieties were a part of some more general malaise going on in my life, and that by correcting things elsewhere I had more reserves to devote to work. Of course, now that I look back I wonder whether I am pushing things too hard – just because I don’t see a problem at the moment doesn't mean I am not storing up issues. I'm currently very happy with what I do, but I suspect I should at least start to think about longer-term future options and prospects during the next year.

Health

THE major success story of 2014 for me. I managed to lose 30 pounds in the period from May/June to September. I have managed to put about 5 of them back on over Christmas, but am disgusted enough with myself over that to ensure they will not be sticking around. I found a level of will power I really didn't think I had, and (no surprise) that all you need to do is eat in a controlled way and do lots of exercise and it all comes good. Which makes me feel all the more stupid about the decade-long search for miracle ways of achieving it.

While dieting, I went almost entirely veggie for a couple of months. I've not stuck to that since I hit my target weight, but am eating much less meat that I have ever done – and I feel a lot better for it. At home, I could definitely do the veggie thing 100% of the time – it’s going out that kills it. Particularly it was three days away with work and the third consecutive mushroom risotto as the only choice on the menu that made me yearn for flesh. Does this go down as a fail? No. Because over all I am much much healthier. I have achieved something I knew I need and wanted to, but I think never really thought I would get to with weight etc. It would be better for me and the planet if I ate no meat, but eating it on a less frequent basis isn't a disaster for either.

Life

Big, big changes. Causing a lot of stress to me and to those around me (thank you to all those who gave me such support during what could have been a much trickier period without you). But I finally moved away from a situation that wasn't making me happy (and wasn't making anyone else happy either). With some time now elapsed between then and now, I know that I feel much better (and worry a little about where I would have been heading if I hadn't made the move – I think it would have been a pretty dark place). I've managed to keep what I valued most - my kids and the relationship I continue to have with them – whilst becoming (I hope) a much more balanced and centred individual.

So, there we go. Overall score? A few misses, a few definite hits, quite a few unexpected and unforeseen. A year of major change, and I feel very positive about it and about the future. So I have to put it down as a pretty good year. Of course, I now need to think about what challenges 2015 holds, and what I want to change or continue. More on that in future posts.

Who knows where the time goes?

Happy 2015 dear reader.

I've had a very busy three weeks since my last post. Concert after concert, as well as the usual Christmas festivities etc. It’s now the second of January and with the exception of going to see Sixfold performing at the Hob in Forest Hill tonight, it’s back to normal.

I will do a quick review of the past year and where the blog goes next over the weekend, and once I have had a chance to think about it. The whole blog idea came out of a New Year’s resolution; in the last few weeks I have been so busy that I haven’t managed to come up with plans for 2015 yet.

But after ten pre-Christmas gigs ranging from opening a school fete to the Albert Hall the last week has been a chance to relax a little bit, catch up with a few people and indulge too much. Christmas day itself involved a quiet dinner with the kids; the time since has included big band jazz at the Hideaway, playing the New Year in on the ukulele, and quite a lot of festive spirit.

I didn't dare stand on the scales this morning, but I know a few pounds have crept on over Christmas. They will be leaving during January, I can assure you.

So, once again, Happy New Year one and all. I hope it’s a good one for all of us.

Concert Season

I have learned today that Christmas jumpers, especially of the cheap and cheerful* variety are rather too warm to wear in a heated office. How on earth have we got to December 12^th already? I only have three more days of work before Christmas, and rather more than three days’ work to do. (This blog is my lunch hour – I am typing whilst eating an (apparently) seasonal Brie and Grape sandwich.)

Concert season starts tomorrow, with Voxcetera’s Christmas concert in Tufnell Park – details here if you are a) interested and b) reading this within about 24 hours of publication. And my parents are coming down for the weekend. Largely to see me and the kids, but they have timed it to see Vox for the first time. I am sure they won’t be disappointed.

And then starting Monday evening I am into the Albert Hall run of Monday, Thursday, Saturday (twice) and Tuesday (23^rd) with a diversion via Birmingham Symphony Hall on Monday 22^nd. A very different animal from Voxcetera, but if you are going to see any of Jonathan Cohen’s 'Christmas Singalong's, do wave. I won’t have a hope in hell of seeing you, but it’s the thought that counts (in joke - see last blog).

In other news, I did wonder whether I should bother with a Christmas tree this year. But how can you not? There was a period in my life from about say 16 – 25 when I got very turned off by Christmas – the childhood magic had gone and it just seemed like commercialism etc. Having kids of my own rekindled it definitely – there are few better things than watching a three-year-old unwrap Christmas presents. Now they are all past the ‘magic’ stage – my youngest is 14, and although I've never had the difficult dad-son conversation with any of my three (the one about Father Christmas I mean) I don’t *think* he believes any more (and he’s lost all his milk teeth so the Tooth Fairy has passed into history too).

But I still feel that Christmas is something special. Yes, it is too commercial. No, I'm not religious so the Baby Jesus thing isn't a thing for me. But it is still a time when the country pauses and allows the work-life pendulum to swing decidedly too far in the ‘life’ direction for a week. I think that singing in front of 30,000-odd people (some very odd) who are out to enjoy themselves does engender the Christmas spirit. As do the parties and gatherings that happen at this time of the year.

For me it will be a nice mix – plenty of group stuff in the run up, and then some quiet time to recharge over the actual holiday (though I am being catered for on Christmas day). Might do a spot of busking as well I think… And then once the holiday is over I can get to thinking about what next year holds – am I going to carry on with blogging, is there another musical challenge ahead of me, should I write a book (or take to the stage)? [bonus point if you get that reference].

But that’s getting ahead of ourselves. For now, Let’s enjoy the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

* i.e. £12 from Primark

The Ghost of Christmas Presents.

Apologies to any Dickens fans for that title...

Well, it's been a while. But, like the best of friendships I'm hoping we can be straight back to being comfortable with each other right away, as if the gap had never happened. Right?

Its a little over four weeks since I wrote and it's just been so busy that I haven't had the time. Am typing this on train to work, but imagine I will not finish it until lunchtime, but I've been busy enough that any time I've had with a clear diary I've either needed to do the shopping/washing etc, or I have needed to sleep.

So, what have I been doing you ask? Plenty of rehearsals - for gigs with Voxcetera - gig Saturday 13th - come along, Albert Hall gigs, and Ukulele gigs too (less rehearsing for these to be fair). Plus socialising, trying to make the most of the nice weather - which seems to be back today - by getting out and about and thinking about / planning Christmas things.

As ever, the thought of buying Christmas presents fills me with dread and panic. 'Oh, it's the thought that counts' is a phrase I have always viewed with as much suspicion as 'size isn't important', 'it's what's on the inside that counts' etc.

At least with kids you get a list - and adding a surprise or two to that isn't difficult. This year, not only have I got a list from one, he has helpfully (no irony intended - I mean this) linked it to the relevant Amazon entries. If only he could have done it as a wish list, he could have saved me six clicks, but pretty good. And the others just want money, which is a pretty dull present but I was the same as a teenager.

Parents (who have everything they need and dislike clutter etc, so don't want to have things they don't need) are a difficult one though. But easy compared to friends - I'm not going to get disinherited for a 4/10 Xmas gift...

Mind you, I can't be an easy person to buy for. A book or music you think? Yes, but a good chance I've got or borrowed it already. Unless it involves Russell Brand. But if you know me well enough to buy a present you would know not to buy that.

If somebody asks me what I would like, I honestly have no idea at all. It's not particularly that I want to be surprised, it's just that my mind is a blank in that area. And that is an area very adjacent to the 'good ideas for presents for others' and indeed seems to share the same tumbleweeds.

Given I'm not going down the route of The Voucher (other than perhaps for those who are geographically remote) my strategy is to walk up and down the aisles of shops until I receive some sort of divine inspiration. Which just, short term, exchanges the uncertainty over what to buy with one for whether I bought the right thing. Which will by 25/12 be itself replaced with the knowledge that I didn't, or an uncertainty as to whether it was really appreciated or they were just saying that.

Be honest - am I over-analysing here? I am, aren't I?

Right - first 20 minutes of lunchtime used up in posting this - off to wander the Whitgift centre now in search of ideas. Wish me luck.

From gigs to pigs

Last Thursday saw my first ever ukulele gig, and what a blast it was. Performing in a benefit at Streatham's famous Hideaway club with some members of Balham Ukulele Society, we did a range of songs from Jonny Cash through to Keston Cobblers Club, stopping off at the Everly Brothers, the Jungle Book and many others on the way.

It felt a good tight performance (OK - I have no direct experience to compare it with) and it seemed to go down really well with the audience. We then got back on stage at the end with closing act MyFlat, to do a couple of numbers, which also felt great.

On Saturday I was back in audience mode when a couple of mates were singing at an open mic in Streatham - and very good they were too, and then a further uke practice on Sunday.

In the meantime, I took the boys to Bodeans in Balham. If you don't know the place - well, where to start? Brash, very 'American style' - lots of noise and sport, and above all lots of animal produce. Looked like a huge selection of interesting beers too, though none of us went near them.

Really not the sort of place to go as a delicate vegetarian or indeed an eater of small portions. I watched them as they polished off probably about an entire animal between the three of them, and then followed it with waffles and chocolate ice-cream. They loved it, and for that sort of family or quite-blokeish do, it was perfect. I suspect that if you wanted a quiet or romantic dinner for two, you would be better pretty much anywhere, including Nandos or the local chippy.

Rehearsals continue apace for Christmas gigs (with uke ones now figuring in the list as well as two different lots of choir stuff of course), and to close the musical journey, I'm off to see Difford and Tilbrook (as in Squeeze)at the Union Chapel on Saturday - should be fun.

All this doesn't leave a lot of time for sitting around and having a restful evening, so I am pleased that I am managing to keep reading. I must admit though that looking through the year, quality has not held up as well as quantity. Heavy tomes do not work well when I am tired, so it's been pretty fiction-based. 

I've just finished the three volumes of S M Stirling's Draka series - which is an alternate reality, dystopian nightmare - a bit like Croydon in that way I suppose. Bought in part because I like alt-history stuff, but largely because it was incredibly cheap on Amazon. It was OK. I think my slight disquiet is that it is written about some pretty nasty people (minor spoiler but necessary - the Draka is a civilisation based on slavery - the competing Alliance is based on tech) and because it is written in a point of view style (Game of Thrones-like) you start feeling sympathy with people for whom you should clearly have none. 

This sort of thing shouldn't matter - either the book entertains (and to be fair, it did - in a geeky way) or it does not, but there was an unease. There is no doubt Stirling does not advocate slavery, torture etc, but they weren't really eyes I wanted to look through.

Now looking for the next thing to read. As my search is based on 'Science Fiction under a quid' the same experience is entirely likely to occur.

What ever happened to plate-spinning acts?

It's been a fairly quiet weekend, for which I am quite grateful. Not sure if 'burning the candle at both ends' is the appropriate phrase, but I've had quite a few late nights in the last couple of weeks - a mixture of rehearsals, evenings in the pub that have gone on just a bit longer than they should have etc. So I took the opportunity Saturday and Sunday to recharge and do nothing more than have a wander around and a trip to the gym etc, and make use of my extra hour to sleep in a bit.

From here on in, weekends are starting to hot up with more rehearsals - this year I am doing a good number of gigs at the Albert Hall with London Concert Chorus, plus Voxcetera's Christmas concert on 13th (only one gig but lots of music to learn, plus at least one Xmas gig with Balham Ukulele Society - which will be songs I know, but do not know on the Uke. So there is a lot of practising to do as well. This may come across as a moan - it really isn't - I love doing this sort of stuff (otherwise why would I...) but put it on top of the usual social whirl and it all gets quite busy.

Other than that, work continues on apace. We've had a number of people out over the last month - a mixture of conferences and holidays and the colds and 'flu that are always around at this time of year. I'm hoping that now everyone is back I will be able to move things forward rather than just feel like one of those circus plate-spinning acts. (What happened to them - as a kid you couldn't go a fortnight without seeing one on TV - presumably they are all working in call centres or stacking shelves?)

And it's my birthday next week - which really isn't a big deal - I've reached the age where even the ones ending in a '5' aren't a big deal (this one doesn't) - it's pretty much only the decades you want to commemorate. But it's an excuse for a bit of a celebration if I want one, and to buy a nice book or similar (I need *no* excuse for the latter of course).

Anyway, that's a quick 'no news' that his filed my lunch break. Will write a little more later in the week.