Family and Friends

Well, I said at the beginning of this I was going to avoid politics. I failed last time - miserably. And you lot reward me with the biggest readership figures I've had all year, and lots of positive messages. Thank you for this. Your feedback is important to us. And having caught a little wave of popularity, I'm going to ignore it and write about something completely different. But I will get back on the political hobby horse, you'll just have to wait.

Half Term begins - and an extended weekend break - I am off Monday, and will be spending time learning stuff for the next Voxcetera gig, catching up on admin and some reading (and writing) and attempting to play "Simon Smith and his Amazing Dancing Bear" on the piano. I suspect the last of these will prove the least successful, and the least entertaining for the neighbours (though the Britten I'm learning could run it close on that one).

I managed to catch up with a couple of friends today - one over lunch and one for a quick coffee later on. I don't do this kind of thing often enough - just catching up without it being at a rehearsal or seeing a band or watching a movie. I never really thought why this was*, until it came up over lunch.

My parents grew up in the small town of Coatbridge, close to Glasgow. They met at church I think when very young - but my father did the music for shows and my mother did the choreography (not much doubt which side I inherited). Everyone stayed local, met future spouses locally, and that was it. Everyone was always in and out of each other's houses - not just family, but neighbours too. And my parents were the first of the family to  move away - first to Edinburgh, and then to England. Now, or course, I moved too, as did many of my friends - growing up in Lytham St Annes there wasn't a lot of career choice if you stayed. But they did it in a much less connected world, and were the first. That takes courage. But it also meant of course that we didn't have that family support system.

In the first few years, I know my two grandfathers (both widowed) would come down regularly, but I suspect this was to have someone to look after them rather than to support my parents. By the time I was eight, they were dead too (life expectancy in Glasgow was as bad then as it is now). And there must have been a different friends dynamic too. If all your mates from school and college disappear to the ends of the earth, then you accept the need to travel to stay in touch. My parents' friends stayed put. Many in Scotland - one couple in Lancashire - with a young family. They were never going to stay close.

So we were on our own  The classic nuclear family. And the just dropping in and small talking didn't happen. I had a great upbringing - I wanted for nothing within reason and didn't miss other family because I never had any, but perhaps it does explain my tendency for self-reliance.


* to be honest, I assumed it was because that was just how I am - small talk is awkward, people, indeed, are awkward so why on earth put yourself through that when you can be reading a book or listening to some music.